ARISTO NATION: WHY GOOD GIRLS WANT TO GO BAD

I was doing my rounds of gossip blogs (yes i read gossip blogs) and I came across this post on Lindaikeji on Caroline Danjuma and her new pictures. I must say Caroline is one beautiful woman but what really caught my eye was the comments especially this one 

 

There seems to be a notion that good girls are always carrying last and the so called bad ones are the ones who settle down quicker with the men of their dreams. It doesn’t matter if they are the second or third wives like in the cases of some of the women mentioned in the comment, what matters is that they were married and ‘settled’ in their husband’s houses who in most cases are wealthy men, I mean how else would they qualify as Aristos. 

If you like laugh but this babe like many other girls have vexed and is not willing to hide it anymore. Too many girls are dulling in the name of being good and somehow the other not so ‘good girls’ are cashing in on the cash cows and getting a better life, both young and old. It is absolutely unfair and unjust in this life of ours….but anyway back to the topic at hand. 

Aristos are also known as Sugar Daddies, men who typically support younger women financially in exchange for something usually sexual. My definition may not be correct but it’s the well known and well accepted one especially in Nigeria. Rarely do aristos marry the younger women that they have relationships with but in cases where they do, these girls become the envy of most of their friends regardless of the age difference between the men and the young girls in question. 

You could go on to say well these men are old enough to be the young ladies’ fathers or elderly uncles but somehow with the economic situation and dating wahala of younger men  in Nigeria you can’t blame supposed good girls who want to go bad in the name of settling down with a bright future. Some of the reasons include:

1. You will always be the younger one. At least you’ll never have to worry about him leaving you for a younger woman… unless of course he’s interested in dating  the girls yet unborn. 
2. What’s the point of a broke Aristo, actually they do not exist so as long as you have an Aristo, you’ll always be financially secure. I know it doesn’t sound very sexy and it makes you sound like a gold digger but let’s be real nobody wants to manage in this life. 
3. You will always have a bank of wisdom to draw from, as an older man he would have a wealth of experience and as they say ‘What an old man sees sitting down, a young man cannot see standing up’
4. If you hit the right jackpot, you may find yourself with an Aristo that knows how to pamper you as a princess and show you what chivalry really means. Some occasional trips to exotic places, expensive gifts, dinners and knowing when to tell you how beautiful you are and lucky he is to have a pretty young thing like you.

So if you ever wondered why anyone would want to date a man twice their age well now you do, as for me I am still willing to give the young men a chance, something about taking care of a man as old as my father just eerks me….or maybe I am not ready to hang my good girl boots.

FIRST OF ALL…

I suppose I should introduce myself, I am a twenty something year old lady living in Nigeria and as the blog name implies, I happen to be single. 

 

Being single in Nigeria especially in Lagos is indeed an experience that makes you wonder what planet you are on, hence the blog. As a single (as in no boyfriend sef) young lady in naija, this blog acts as a journal and collection of events which I experience in the name of dating, love and the ultimate goal of being married. 

 

Anyway, I’m a lover of the arts and jazz, a foodie at heart and I go to sleep listening to love songs. I wish I could say more but I think that’s enough for now. 

 

THIS IS MY YEAR!

Preparation for the annual crossover service is usually a day-long event in my house. This year it’s a bit different because my slave masters a.k.a employers have let me close earlier than usual, a luxury that I intend to maximize. Service is from 9pm till midnight and for some reason a good part of the day is centered on BBM shout-outs and dedications. Suddenly we all remember the friends that have been there for us but as a single Nigerian girl; it’s a time to reflect on relationships but good and bad but most of all, another year which has come to an end and you still remain single…very single.

On another note, I also try to figure out what I would be wearing into 2014, ’cause no one really wants to look bad when counting down into another year. It remains a mystery why we women put a lot of emphasis into our New Year’s Eve outfit though, does the way we dress have anything to do with what the new year would bring?, or is another commercial stunt that has brainwashed women across the globe? I know in Nigeria there’s always the hope of meeting the ‘one’ cause as they say, it can happen anytime especially since a few brothers stray into church right before midnight to countdown in a tipsy state before heading out to the nearest club/bar where they celebrate and forget every prayer and promise they made to God to be better people in the new year…Anyway I digress

Also in churches, everybody seems to be prophetic on New Year’s Eve so I have learnt to mentally prepare myself for all the prayers that would be coming my way and remember to say Amen when the blessings for marriage come for fear of being scolded. Four years ago, I chose not to say Amen to one of the women in church during her marriage rants and ended up with another thirty minutes sermon/lecture on why I should be prepared, ready and prayerful. I was going to tell her that I was only going to turn 24 and marriage was the last thing on my mind but the bible taught me to have wisdom, so I apologized, said her much requested Amen before running away.

At the stroke of midnight and with excitement in the air, I walk across the church wishing everyone a happy new year. This is a calculated move because most times you only get the unrequested prayers and sermons when they come to you. Married people and elderly women are usually the ones to avoid on nights like these because even the men who are known for being womanizers would be offering you prayers of marriage and finding the right man for you. I left church with quotes such as ‘this is your year’, ‘the man will find you this year’, ‘you will move into your husband’s house this year’ and my favourite ‘go and bring the man this year’….yea!

Phone calls and messages all have a common theme on New Year’s Day; even my first love chewing gum love, who is now married was quick to say 2014 would be the year of my marriage. I should have asked him what made him so sure, especially since he got married to someone else and now has a daughter but it’s a new year and in cliché fashion I do not want to carry over any drama so I simply say an Amen and ask him to introduce me to any respectable single male friend that he may have. It’s always good to show maximum interest in such matters.

After all the celebration, hours of cooking and hosting guests with remarks on me being ready for marriage, my mother then calls me over for the ‘talk’. I must let you know, this talk is a yearly tradition and usually starts with the importance of the New Year and putting everything in God’s hands because marriage may happen anytime especially in this new year, my pastor says this year is our year of Divine Harvest so I shall be harvesting my husband this year. You probably find this funny but my mother doesn’t which is why she has personally placed me on a 14 day fast to pray about settling down in this New Year.

I’m not sure if this is really a spiritual exercise or just another way for my mother to get me to lose weight whatever the case as far as my mother is concerned, this is definitely the year of my fairy tale happily ever after. Wish me luck!